[中文字幕] How I Decide What To Paint // IF PAINTINGS COULD SPEAK episode#1 // 繪畫會話 #1

[中文字幕] How I Decide What To Paint // IF PAINTINGS COULD SPEAK episode#1 // 繪畫會話 #1


Hello, I’m Vi, and I’m a watercolor artist Welcome to The Visual Illiterate Let me show you what I’ve been working on It’s this painting right here It’s a little washed out in this light I still have a few finishing touches to add here and a few petals down there But completion is in sight Finally So this painting is actually part of a pair and its companion piece Looks like This And they come together like so This pair of paintings belongs to a series that I’ve been working on and off for the past few years And it’s called A Woman’s Heart in which peonies are used to depict the heart going through various junctures in love Today I’m going to be walking you through the first painting that I made for the series and it’s this one titled, A Woman’s Heart: Falling in love Now, love is such a mass of convoluted and intense feelings which is why I wanted to use this series to unpack the many expressions of love when I have an idea for a painting I like to sit down and take some time to get to know it better similar to how you’d want to converse with the person whose portrait you’re painting and I do so by alternating between sketching and writing They complement each other wonderfully Because sketching is like taking a deep dive into a universe of possibilities where anything and everything is up for grabs and the only limitation there
is the scope of my imagination Writing, however, is it’s more like holding a magnifying glass up to an idea and inspecting its edges and corners It helps me determine which ideas can withstand probing and sustain my interest for long enough so that I’m bothered to follow through
and make a painting out of it After all Art is like a language for me and I think that my paintings
need to have something to say and I feel like my role as an artist is
to figure out how to say that something And the hope is that I’ll end up saying it well With a pinch of style So for this video I rummaged through some of my old notes
from when I was making this painting in 2015. Honestly, I was so hesitant to share my writing because it’s basically like sharing my diary but my writing is such an integral part in the making of a painting that to share one without the other feels a bit wrong and sad like the flattening of dimensions somehow So I’ve selected a few excerpts from these notes and I’ve copied into this gorgeous notebook that I’m so excited to have a found a use for These excerpts will give you a glimpse into
what was going through my mind back then Oh dear My instinct tells me that I need to capture what falling in love feels like, not what it looks like No, this particular painting shall not be a heart strewn, kisses abound roses framing a couple engaged in PDA kind of ordeal Might also want to be judicious in my use of the color red Instinct demands and instinct shall be obeyed,
though I’m unsure what my motivation is Perhaps I just don’t want to inadvertently end up painting a Valentine’s Day card Here’s a nagging thought: I’d probably be a more popular artist if I could get happy painting Valentine’s Day cards I think I don’t want this painting to be too obvious One that obnoxiously declares its giddiness for all the world to see and suffer I want something quiet. Something private. Something that reveals itself slowly. Something you mistake for one thing at first glance but if you stick around,
you’ll find out what it’s truly about Something you need to get to know Something worth falling for This excerpt helped me figure out the broad outlines of what I wanted and didn’t want for this painting The next question I had to reckon with was
“so what does falling in love feel like?” Admittedly, that question had me stumped
for a good long while so I had to spend several writing sessions
exploring the different facets of falling in love Here are a few snippets Falling in love A clue lies in the word, falling To willfully lose balance To willingly forgo the ground beneath your feet in exchange for a moment when falling feels like flying for a chance to be caught and seen, and understood, and adored. As you can see, here I was thinking about falling in love more along the lines of a budding romance a tingle up your spine the world awash with a rosy glow kind of way But then I quickly became more interested in the confusing part of falling in love when you find yourself so hijacked by anticipation that you become deeply suspicious of your own emotions and your ability to reason Falling in love sometimes feels
like a hymn hailing from above singing of surrender, sweetness, and a tender touch Other times it feels
like an ill omen muttering from the deep warning of rejection, pain, and betrayals of trust Caught in between is the lovesick fool of a heart Who cannot tell right or wrong between the two Is the hymn truly as lovely as it seems or is it a siren song calculated to ensnare? Is the omen sound and with good intentions or a guise to legitimize the cowardice underneath? Eventually, I zoomed in on the moment when the heart goes from being infatuated but irresolute and guarded to deciding that it does want to open up
and take a chance on love For every shy, passing smile a whole day is spent memorizing the curves of those lips For every conversation shared ten nights are rendered sleepless parsing each sentence said
for a hundred meanings inferred And when your guard accidentally slips for the thousandth time a million questions spur Crush? Or true? If true, reciprocated? If reciprocated, then what? Pursue? Too much? Stay put? Too chicken? Test the waters? Ask what? Act how? Go with instinct? Or analyze instead?
Is information sufficient? Insufficient information leads to bad conclusions How to get answers? How to…stop? Just stop. This is going nowhere There is no end to these questions Just round and round going out of control The questions will keep coming
not because they need to be answered but because they need to protect
the entity that is your selfness in all its unedited cacophony: your pride, your lies, your light, your fight your baggage, your damage, your solitude Because they know your heart is at its core a bundle of nerves and fright and soft things that hurt Because they know there is a someone
who looks to impinge on your selfness and your selfness stands at the precipice of change and your heart is at stake So these questions raise themselves up
around you for your sake Waiting for that one answer that would release them: Are you willing to expand your selfness
to make room for another who may, in turn, irrevocably alter your selfness? If the day comes when you find yourself saying yes when staying safe is no longer worth
the price of not knowing what could be then love shall find you like Spring awakening a flower bud: to feel the chill of dew, the flutter of wings the heaviness of spring storms, the glow of sunshine even if only for a season the only reasonable response is to bloom If we turn to the painting here you’ll see the pistil is the only part of the peony
that’s red with flecks of gold which symbolizes that love has lit a flame at the center of the heart But it’s a small flame, a new love unable yet to fully impassion the rest of the heart So for now the petals remain blue blue with the aloofness, the coolness,
the pensiveness of being alone However, the petals aren’t without change for they can sense that there is something different in the air Instinctively, the petals surrounding the pistil arrange themselves into close knit rings of walls as if trying to protect the heart from itself
by containing this new passion as well as warding off further outside temptations Even though these inner petals of the heart insist on being wary, and hesitant, and shy their efforts may be in vain because the outer petals have already given in
by opening up revealing the private faces of selfness
to be seen and shared Is that reckless and foolhardy? Perhaps Or maybe these outer petals simply believe
that this heart can enjoy but also endure whatever the wills and wiles of love So that covers the writing component of my process and it feels like a natural place to wrap up this video although I had originally planned on
talking about the painting portion as well because there were some amusing stories that happened in the painting of this piece I suppose they’ll just have to be stories for another day It’s been interesting revisiting this piece especially sifting through my old notes because I haven’t read them since 2015 I find that my writing and my painting together form a kind of time capsule of my past self and what my outlook was on certain things By comparing that outlook to my current views illuminates how I’ve changed as a person There have been times when I’ve questioned the efficiency of my need to write as much as I do because I could probably still paint,
if not paint more by not doing so But I can honestly say now that I’m so glad I’ve kept up with this habit of trying to articulate as thoroughly albeit imperfectly my understanding on a certain topic
at a given time in my life because then I get to build on that understanding and reconnect with myself more purposefully
moving forwards In that sense I feel like my old paintings continue to grow with me
and take on new meaning while still remaining young at the same time Thank you for watching the first episode of
“If Paintings Could Speak” Here’s to living artistically and I’ll see you next time Bye Wang Wang, say bye

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