Prabhuji Archives: Moments after a Meeting with Prabhuji (English Subtitles)

Prabhuji Archives: Moments after a Meeting with Prabhuji (English Subtitles)


so? you have nothing to say? no… I just feel that… I have nothign to say that… I think I can’t do this… simply… I can not say any word I can not say any word like bliss or happiness because everything is very… bullshit its nonsense to try and describe it? Yes, any word I will use like expanses or something… its nonsense but, you can ask me questions… however… like David said now, it is… it is maybe a very significant time in your spiritual life ok, I will describe exactly what I feel now the moment I am going to use any word it will simply going to ruin it that any word that I will use will… diminish it Or… that it will damadge it, what I am experiencing now The experience itself is something that has no… I can not describe it in any way Maybe later I will be able to describe it I have an idea, but it is not that when I try to describe it I have an idea how to describe it, but it is not it so maybe later I will describe it but now I can not even now a little… begins to be an I? yes… ask questions… let’s say, ok, you are not describing. But how do you feel now? When this happens to you? [whispering] really amazing… ok, I really think I am not good for this because I can’t even say that it is good… I know that leter I will say that it is… I don’t know how to explain it even so why you think that later you will be able to describe and now you have nothing to say? it is very strange, because I can I can imagine now. The mind is functioning even now I can imagine now how I will describe it but now I am aware it is a lie, so I can not say it I don’t even know how to explain it for example, even to say that it is good or wonderful, I can not say it now I don’t know how to explain it, I am sorry but you can see yourself in a hour or two describing it describing this? yes yes, I am sure my mind, that I will grasp this state in some way …as something good… however, from the knowledge you have that is exactly our tendency to grasp, to define, to try and… it is not knowledge, its also knowledge, but now, I see that when you ask me because I am also… there is mind I speak and… there is what I experience now and there is how the mind wants to describe it but I feel these are two unrelated things simply there is no… and… le’ts ask it this way, you know what your mind is going to say… and yet, you say you experience something which is different that has no relation to the mind so le’ts say, we put the mind aside and ask that other thing what would that say? What would that thing say? nothing… simply… it’s not only that we don’t have the words to describe it simply it is impossible to describe it I don’t know… if there was another language, movements it is simply impossible to describe it not that words are missing, it simply does not exist here meaning there is nothing that resembles it that I could use to describe it that is what you are saying the only thing that resembles it is similar moments to what I experience now which happened to me, but in different intensity perhaps even in daily life, many moments that are definitly similar to this, it is this, just smaller now I feel that this is something I experienced many times in a much stronger intensity and then, when it was in a weaker intensity maybe I had doubts about it that it will pass tomorrow and now I can not have any doubt about it but this is something that does… that is with me many times during the day so what is different? now? yes it is simply very strong, and it’s it is very substantial no doubt also, I was afraid that when I will talk about it it will dissapear or something but it can’t dissapear, no matter what I say if its related to it, or not related, it stays all the time more powerful than what I say now mabye if I will say other things it will still stays this is the feeling, that whatever happened now, that stayed the same a feeling that it is really difficult to talk that is the worse thing now why it is so difficult to talk? because there is some immense joy, which, in the moments I talk is felt less it is somehow cutting it many times I want to start talking and I can’t because it simply terrible in this state there is nothing to say? no use of words? no is there something you can think about, something to indicate some element that made this time to be different? yes… it is… this again is the mind analyzing the power that exists now, it was never so strong and stable like this to trust it more but that is something that is yes, I just had much more confidence in it I don’t know how to explain exactly that it is? I didn’t have the… the preocupation – if it is? if it is not that? I just… don’t know… even now, if I say it, if it isn’t that. I don’t care so much What if it dissapears now? I feel it can not dissapear and I feel that if it will dissapear then I know it will come back it exists, and I am not so afraid anymore you feel that now you gained something new? or that it was always there? it was always there so? you didn’t pay attention to it? I did pay attention, but not… enough, or not fully, I don’t know I noticed what I feel now many times but now it is simply stronger than me, that is the feeling and not that it… it is a state the seems to be… is it similar to soemthing? can you say it is similar to some other experinces that you had in the past? I think the difference is that between other experiences in life it is in the level of intensity I mean, maybe it is something I experiences but never in such intensity meaning moments that you forget yourself, that you don’t care about anything, and you are willing to go with what happens to you till the end so it is… so yes, it is a state that happens to before but now it is much stronger and… it is also something that when it happens, very strong, you feel your… you insignificance… you have no ability to resist it, something comes and takes you and… eventually the feeling is of a lot of power, if you can describe it like that meaning… it is not frightening that something comes and takes over like that? no, because you feel that it is something it is very very difficult to… very difficult to describe the feeling deep inner feeling that this is soemthing… that this is the best thing that can ever happen to you there is no fear nothing can… that can… frighten something awakens in you that you don’t want it is an internal feeling that this is something good when it comes you just want to open up more and more I don’t feel fear let me ask it differently is there something in this that can be negative? some bad feeling? no… simply no… actually, from the first time I experienced the feeling is that you just want it to come back and never to go away but you must have had other experiences in life strong, good what is so special in this expeirence that so many talk about it? I think I have said it before, the point is just in the intensity of it in the intensity it leaves you with… it leaves you in a place that… the words finish… nothing… every other experience I had, the most amazing experiences it always ended, passed. leaving some good aftertaste but here it only want that it will go on and on, and there is no meaning, you don’t have, there is no desire to recreate or to think about it or to try that it will be… it is as it is, you know it was there and… that’s it… only… of all the times you have experienced this, do you remember any time that was specially significant? different? yes there was one time an experience that… what? you want me to describe it? it was an experience that… I was sitting and suddenly something which is infinite in size simply comes and swallows me meaning, I had some resistance, so I stopped it at some point but the feeling was like… some black hole that sucks you in, and you dissapear it was… I was mad at myself that I stopped myself because it was it was… maybe the first time that I can say… that more than that you don’t need. If that appears again you are good for life there was like a flash of an inner voice its very hard to explain… because people can think I heard a voice or something and its nothing of the sort its like a tought that never leaves you that thought was “the divine” it passed in my head, this thought, “the divine” I didn’t understand what it was, I went on reading and I see that I can’t it doesn’t leave me “The divine”, “the divine”, I didn’t understand what goes on with me I look around, all is ok… and then I had another spark, another thought, to go out to the window and I followed it, I went out all is good the thing is, when it happens to you, it happens all at once it’s like when you figure something out it was there always but then you figure it out, and then you know so I go out to the window, and I see… all is as usual, cars, people, houses and then was the third spark and then, I say again, was very hard to explain in words but I experienced the one, the space, in that big nothingness I was able to see the space between the buildings the space, that nothing that is around the cars and I understood that without this, without this silence that motionless nothing can function nothing would exist if that was not there and I really felt that with every inhale and exhale I was uniting with it because that space is infinite it goes to the sky and… no end and it was… the mind tried to do this trick immideatly… maybe I imagine, maybe I am insane, sane, it happens, not happens. but in that moment, you don’t know intellectually, you becaome the knowing itself, the silence. can you describe the first time you say in satsang with gurudev yes… it is something a bit hard to forget when I met gurudev, Master David Har Tzion, the first time it was on the day he came back from India and I was not yet a disciple I asked him to be initiated in a letter and there was a very big satsang, all day, everyone was there. stories from India and so on… and I came after work, very afraid I don’t know what is going to be, I heard a lot about him… I had a very deep feeling that he is someone that will be very significant in my life but I never met him, and that was even more confusing, because how someone I don’t know can be so significant, if I don’t even know him and then was the satsang… and it went and we sat and gurudev was giving shakti, everyone is falling down and I… nothing… ok… I was a bit… didn’t know what goes on with me I was more occupied with what happens to me and with my fears I was not really open to him and then, I will never forget it, he came to me I sat with closed eyes and he places a finger on my third eye and another finger in my heart and I suddenly felt like all my inside blows up it was so strong, nothing I ever experienced you can’t say it was fear, it was something inside that opened me completly and then… it started with two tears that came down which became a stream of tears not related to anything it wasn’t tears of sadness, there was no reason to be sad it were just simply pure tears, clean, that washed all the blocks inside and it took these tears a lot of time to finish, no water or tissue, nothing helped and then… slowly it subsided, and I felt completly clean, like after the rain

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