Should Christians Date Non Christians? | Unequally Yoked Relationships

Should Christians Date Non Christians? | Unequally Yoked Relationships


Should Christians date non Christians? And what does it really mean to be, “Unequally
yoked?” If you’ve ever had this question about Christian
dating, stay tuned! Hey guys, my name is Justin and I want to
welcome you to That Christian Vlogger, a place where you get to join me and experience “Faith
in the First Person.” I make videos on practical subjects like Christian
Dating or what does it really mean to live life as a Christian every single Monday and
Thursday, so definitely consider subscribing. Also, if this is the first video in the series
on Christian dating that you’ve seen there will be a link to the entire playlist at the
end of this video so you can look through the rest of the content that we have available
for you! But, let’s get started! What does it mean to be unequally yoked? Is that like when you skip leg day too much
or what? No not quite. The concept of an unequally yoked marriage
or unequally yoked relationships comes from the verse found in 2 Corinthians 6:14 which
says, “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with
lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?” This verse is often applied to the whole christian
dating scene as a way for parents to make sure their kids don’t date non christians. But there’s a few problems with this whole
idea. Problem #1- The Bible doesn’t talk about
dating. Not once. There is not a single verse in the Bible that
applies to dating at all. Why? Because dating never existed back in those
days! Problem #2- This verse never once mentions
the words “non Christian.” I’ve heard dozens of times people trying
to use this verse to apply it to non Christians, but the fact is that this isn’t really what
the verse is saying. So before I share with you what I think this
verse is actually saying, let me say a few words to the counterpoint. I get why some parents and pastors are so
quick to make this point about not dating non Christians. For those of us who are genuine followers
of Christ, our faith is central to who we are. You see, faith in Christ isn’t meant to
be on the same level as being a fan of a particular sports team. I root for team Jesus, and you root for team
Darwin or something like that. A relationship can still be healthy and fulfilling
even if you both root for opposing rival teams. Perhaps one of you likes chocolate and the
other likes vanilla more- no problem! In these areas of life, it’s totally ok
for there to be these types of differences. In fact, I’ve even seen relationships that
work where one is a democrat and the other is a republican. Because as a general theme in life, being
able to agree to disagree with those that you love is a worthy and valuable trait to
have. I would even go as far to say that this quality
is absolutely necessary for healthy and vibrant relationships in general. But faith and trust in Christ is different. Or at least it should be different. To those of us who are true believers in Christ,
our faith is much more than one of the dozen or so different labels that we identify ourselves
with. It’s more than just a one hour commitment
every weekend. Being a disciple of Christ means that above
all else we value the words, teachings, and example of Jesus. These things inform the very lens through
which we see the world. It changes our values, our priorities and
even our very purpose in life. Ending up married to someone who doesn’t
share this commitment will mean that there is an entire aspect of who you are that the
other person will never be able to relate with. An entire realm of intimacy that you could
never access with that special person. Even if they’re “supportive” of you
in your faith during the dating process, it does present it’s challenges if things remain
that way in the long run. Wether its on issues on things like tithing,
how you raise your kids, regular church attendance, or even the role of sex in a relationship,
chances are you will see things differently. As if the divorce rate wasn’t high enough
already- as if you didn’t already have the deck stacked against you for a happy and healthy
marriage, you want to further complicate things by marrying someone who’s entire life philosophy
is different than yours? Maybe you’re a smarter and wiser person
than I am, but that would be too hard for me to do. So anyways, what does it mean to be unequally
yoked. I highlighted two mistakes in applying this
verse to dating unbelievers already and I want to add that applying this verse in this
specific way is too narrow minded. It’s not as though just because you claim
the title “Christian” that you’re magically on the same level as everyone else who considers
themselves to be Christian. It is entirely possible to be unequally yoked
with a fellow Christian. In fact, in the past, I’ve been both on
sides of the equation of this. I’ve been both the person who was more spiritually
committed as well as the one who was completely just playing games with God. And trust me, neither of those types of relationships
are the kinds that you want to be in. They’re annoying and difficult in so many
ways and both times they led to some pretty massive heartache and disappointment. The reality is that amongst the body believers,
there are people with vastly varying commitment levels to Christ as well as very different
theological views. This is why I don’t think simply saying
that this verse means that you shouldn’t date non-Christians is far to narrow minded. Yes, finding a fellow Christian is important,
but more important than that is finding someone who you could be equally yoked with. Finding someone who shares your philosophy
on life or has a similar interpretation of the scriptures is so important. But most importantly, you want to find someone
who is just as committed as you are to following Christ and is intent on living a life of obedience
to Him. Spend your life running your fastest and hardest
towards Christ. Give Him your first and best in everything
that you do. And while you’re running, look to your left
or to your right. If you don’t see anyone then, don’t worry-
just keep running towards Christ. It might be a few weeks, months, or years,
before you see someone, but keep running towards Christ. And someday, as you’re running, you’ll
notice someone running along side you. Heading in the same direction and at the same
speed. That’s the person you want to pay attention
to. Thanks so much for watching today! If you liked this video, don’t forget to
give it a thumbs up and share it with a friend! If you haven’t yet, definitely consider
subscribing- I make videos every Monday & Thursday. But until next time, I’m That Christian
Vlogger, and I want to encourage you to experience “Faith in the First Person.” God bless!

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42 Comments

  1. Makes sense that both Christians and Non-Christians can be the not right (dating) partner but most importantly a Non-Christian cannot be the right person at least for me. Interesting is also that some people apply this verse to having Non-Christian friends. Maybe you can share thoughts on this in a future video but anyways. My opinion is that if God has only one person to be my partner in life and ultimately forever, then dating is pointless. However I loved the way you described the whole finding a partner thing at the end of the video – "just keep running towards Christ and one day you will notice someone running alongside you, headed in the same direction and AT THE SAME SPEED"

  2. Great video. You definitely raised some interesting points of view to consider theologically and just in general. I think this is something we all have struggled with in the journey of life. Finding someone that adds to your life vs take away from your life. Being in an unequally yoked relationship is serious business. I personally dont think Christians should date or dare I say marry non Christians. I know I know it depends on how we view and determine what those two are, but if we are going off the word of God I think aligning yourself with someone that shares the most important views on life is important. Anyways great video. Thanks for tackling such difficult and interesting questions every week. Have a blessed week. – Tyrone

  3. It's strange because (some) non-christians are actually just better people than (some) christians. Someone being Christian (or claiming to be) doesn't always guarantee that they are a good person. Also thoughts on christian/muslim relationships? This topic is brought up quite a lot amongst myself & my Muslim friends and one of my best friends often says that Christian guys she meets are often so much better (in faith) & more compatible than all the Muslim guys she meets, yet the difference in faith stops the relationship from progressing. 🤔

  4. You make some excellent points. How do you feel about Catholics dating Protestants or Mormons? Or Seventh Day Adventists dating non-Adventists?

  5. Love how you explained this. I also love how you touched on the fact that it is possible to be unequally yoked with fellow Christians.

  6. Thanks Justin. Really appreciate your information. Thank you for enlightening us in the word.

  7. My boyfriend is trying to become a christian.. Kinda difficult because he used to be a muslim and walked out of the religion and his family. He honestly doesnt know what he is. He believes in God but doesnt know what he is because of his beliefs and opinions about us christians. He and I are super close and everything is great..Its just that one part that is missing from our relationship. I hope I can encourage him to lean more towards God and understand my faith and relationship with Christ more.
    Wonderful video by the way! Your videos are very imformative and helpful. God Bless You 🙂

  8. +ThatChristianVlogger Being equally yoked in dating/marriage makes life, in that area anyway, much easier. I can only think of one marriage from my circle that I would consider "unequally yoked" that has survived, and even then, they've had their religious struggles over the years.

  9. Can you please discuss the possibility of 'revirginisation' i.e. finding god after you have lost your virginity and how you can/if you should pursue a sexless relationship with a christian partner before marriage.

  10. Wow, AMEN to that "running towards Christ" analogy! I have truly never thought of being equally yoked that way… Running at the same pace and speed with another person with the same destination in mind is indeed very important. I am by no means the "holiest of saints", but I know that it is important to form bonds and relationships who share the same commitment to God as I do. Thank you so much, Justin! This reaffirmed my thoughts on the subject. Keep up the good work!

  11. I think it is best to separate yourselves. Forgive them father, they know not what they do. They are wicked in their hearts.

  12. I am struggling with this problem right now in my Christian walk. I am a new born again Christian, and I have been with this guy before I got saved, and we have been together for a couple of years, and had been living together. We had been in talks of getting married, and having kids, but now that I am a born again Christian I have really been struggling with this, after finding this out. He is not an unbeliever, but he hasn't fully given himself up to Jesus like I have, and I am just so confused on what to do. I know the only one I can really get an answer from is the Lord himself. He has shown me where he is trying to speak to my boyfriend though things, but I don't know if he is going to be willing to give himself to Jesus like I have, and I don't want to be unequally yoked, or be disobedient, but we have made so many memories together, and I gave myself to him before I got saved, we are waiting to get married to make love, but I don't know what to do, and it's just so hard, my heart feels heavy. 🙁 I know this is just part of my test in my walk, but I am struggling with this, I want him so badly to give himself to Jesus, but I can't tell him to, he has to do it on his own…

  13. Justin this video is fantastic, specifically the running towards Christ analogy at the end!! is this your original analogy or can you please point me to the original source? i would like to put it on my wall as it has really spoken to me. thank you!

  14. Love the inspiration! I have the desire to become a successful YouTuber as well. I pray God will mold me into His purpose through this

  15. I couldn't imagine myself dating or marrying a non Christian here's why because what if I really fall in love with her but then I thought she won't be in heaven with me and that can be heart breaking and hard to think about and this can go for friends too it's rough

  16. So I picked this video to be the first one I watch in order to decide whether I will subscribe or not. I subscribed 🙂 Christianity comes in all shapes and forms these days and I just wanted to make sure that you would be solid. Sounds solid…keep up the great work!

  17. Finally I hear an open minded interpretation of that Corinthians verse, a broader view of it. Focusing that verse only in the dating area is so narrow view that has frustrated me all time, even said by very mature Christians.

  18. this is why there is so many spiritually weak christians because they like to hear nice words sugar coating things to justify the wrong but why not instead read the Bible…and how can he say dating was not a thing?? if the bible clearly says sin has been the same since the beginning haven't you read about Sodom and Gomorrah the same exact sins that have been then are same today prostitution, murder homosexuality, theft, profanity, idolatry ect.

  19. Thank you for your teaching. I have recently split up from a non Christian. I pray God will guide and help us. Amen

  20. Do not be yoked means Christians do not behave the way unbelievers do… if you have a spouse who is an unbeliever then do not behave like your spouse. If you have a friend who is an unbeliever then do not behave like your friend. Be the salt and the light and live as a Christian with any unbeliever we meet or encounter any where or place we go. In short, LOVE people and hate the sin!

  21. How can someone sleep well, knowing that if he and his partner die that night, they're gonna spend eternity in different places?

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